Valley Of the Dolls

      Grand, kitschy, hilarious- what's not to love about 1967's gloriously over-the-top "Valley Of the Dolls"?  A trashy, campy soap based on  Jacqueline Susann's ground-breaking novel, with performances that simply must be seen to be believed.  Severely diluted for the big screen, the movie does lose a lot of the gritty novel's impact, ultimately becoming nothing like the original novel.  However, having said all of that, the film is an unintentional laugh riot- Patty Duke, Susan Hayward, and Lee Grant devour any and all scenery around them and all come across as raging drag queens in the process.  Duke is certainly a sight to behold as the self-destructive Neely O'Hara, a talented young singer/actress who soon becomes hooked on booze and 'dolls' (pills).  Her massive train wreck of a performance is definitely a highlight of the film.   Barbara Parkins come across as a Stepford wife, while Susan Hayward brays, bellows, and screams, along with having her wig thrown in a toilet.  And the fact that Sharon Tate became a victim of the Manson Family at the time of release sadly solidified its camp status.

      As quotable and fun as "Mommie Dearest", "Valley of the Dolls" is a rollicking good time and compulsively watchable stuff- you know the whole time it's terrible, and it sure is great. It contains some of the most ludicrous dialogue and contrived situations ever filmed for a serious drama, and that is why fans so fervently love this movie.  Judy Garland was originally considered for the part that eventually went to Susan Hayward, and one can only imagine what Judy could have done with the part.  Nowhere near as racy as it could have been- those of us who have read the book know what was left out of the film version.  But it doesn't matter.  This is one of the greatest camp classics of all time, and along with beautiful cinematography, glamorous 1960's hair and fashion, sublime 60's artistic montages, and Dionne Warwick warbling the title tune, how in the world can you go wrong? Trashy, scandalous, and unintentionally hilarious.
 "Boobies, boobies, boobies!  Nothin' but boobies!"