FILM-NOIR MOVIE POSTER GALLERY #1

Vertigo

     A retired detective, Scottie Ferguson, who suffers from a paralyzing fear of heights, is called to follow an old school chum's wife and her strange actions.  Ferguson soon finds himself falling in love with her, but this is no ordinary love story.  Scottie becomes entangled in a dark, dangerous web of deceit and obsession.

     "Vertigo" is one of the most exquisitely made movies in history.  Filmed like a fever dream, Alfred Hitchcock's masterpiece is a triumph of cinema.  Almost lost forever, it's been painstakingly remastered, and the picture and sound quality are nothing short of astonishing. It's dark, haunting, and hypnotic- there is just something about this movie that gets under your skin. It still has an effect on me, and I've seen it way too many times to count.

     To give away anything about this movie is a crime- trust me, it just needs to be seen.  Part of a string of outstanding movies made by the master of suspense, "Vertigo" is such a classic that I get a bit tongue-tied just trying to talk about it.  I'm such a Hitchcock junkie that I can never find anything bad to say about any of his movies, much less "Vertigo".  Unbelievably, this was a huge flop when it was first released in 1958- how this is possible is beyond me.  James Stewart delivers the performance of a lifetime here.  It's almost hard to imagine good ole' American Stewart in such a dark role, but he pulls it off beautifully.  Kim Novak is also unforgettable- she doesn't even speak until almost an hour into the film, yet she immediately makes a lasting impression.

      Hitchcock mixes a complicated story, lavish visual detail, Bernard Hermann's unearthly and mysterious score, tension stretched almost to the point of discomfort, incredible San Fransisco locations and unbelievable matte shots to make a movie that's simply astonishing.  The restoration edition DVD  is a must-have, and the documentary detailing the movie's restoration is completely and utterly fascinating.  Honestly, I could blab all night about "Vertigo", or you could just watch it for yourself and hopefully fall under its mysterious and enchanting spell.

The Seven Year Itch

     During a summer heat wave in New York City, a man sends his wife and child up to Maine to escape the sweltering heat.  Enjoying his carefree bachelor freedom, he's still trying to be good- no drinking, no smoking, no women.  But he soon finds himself in over his head as a certain blonde moves in upstairs...

     Universally known for the forever iconic image of Marilyn Monroe standing above a subway grating with her skirt billowing up- but "The Seven Year Itch" offers much more than that.  It's actually a bubbling sex comedy chock full of hidden innuendos and clever jokes.  Quite daring for its time (it's amusing to pick out the lines that you just know flew right past the censors...), Billy Wilder's "The Seven Year Itch" is pure comedic gold.

      This is one of Marilyn's greatest performances, I think.  It's classic Marilyn-she's breathlessly enthralling, and her work in this movie is proof that she could act.  Her comedic timing is impeccable and she manages to be sexy and  hilarious at the same time.  And Tom Ewell is pitch perfect as Richard Sherman- your typical businessman of the 50's.  The chemistry between Monroe and Ewell is irresistible and they play off each other well.  Another great time capsule of the fab 50's, and not only one of the greatest comedies to come out of the 50's, but of all time. Most comedies today pale in comparison to something of this caliber.  Essential viewing of any classic film fan.

Valley Of the Dolls

      Grand, kitschy, hilarious- what's not to love about 1967's gloriously over-the-top "Valley Of the Dolls"?  A trashy, campy soap based on  Jacqueline Susann's ground-breaking novel, with performances that simply must be seen to be believed.  Severely diluted for the big screen, the movie does lose a lot of the gritty novel's impact, ultimately becoming nothing like the original novel.  However, having said all of that, the film is an unintentional laugh riot- Patty Duke, Susan Hayward, and Lee Grant devour any and all scenery around them and all come across as raging drag queens in the process.  Duke is certainly a sight to behold as the self-destructive Neely O'Hara, a talented young singer/actress who soon becomes hooked on booze and 'dolls' (pills).  Her massive train wreck of a performance is definitely a highlight of the film.   Barbara Parkins come across as a Stepford wife, while Susan Hayward brays, bellows, and screams, along with having her wig thrown in a toilet.  And the fact that Sharon Tate became a victim of the Manson Family at the time of release sadly solidified its camp status.

      As quotable and fun as "Mommie Dearest", "Valley of the Dolls" is a rollicking good time and compulsively watchable stuff- you know the whole time it's terrible, and it sure is great. It contains some of the most ludicrous dialogue and contrived situations ever filmed for a serious drama, and that is why fans so fervently love this movie.  Judy Garland was originally considered for the part that eventually went to Susan Hayward, and one can only imagine what Judy could have done with the part.  Nowhere near as racy as it could have been- those of us who have read the book know what was left out of the film version.  But it doesn't matter.  This is one of the greatest camp classics of all time, and along with beautiful cinematography, glamorous 1960's hair and fashion, sublime 60's artistic montages, and Dionne Warwick warbling the title tune, how in the world can you go wrong? Trashy, scandalous, and unintentionally hilarious.
 "Boobies, boobies, boobies!  Nothin' but boobies!"

Psycho

     A woman steals $40,000 and flees town.  During a bad thunderstorm, she stops at an out-of-the-way motel to spend the night.  What follows is one of the most infamous scenes in horror history.

               "Psycho" is pure movie-making genius.  Hitchcock's masterpiece is a brilliant exercise in music, cinematography, editing, acting, and directing. I can only imagine sitting in an unsuspecting audience in 1960, completely unaware of what was about to happen on the screen. NOTHING had ever been done like this movie before, especially the infamous 'shower scene'.  With the heroine of the film brutally butchered during the first 30 minutes, Hitchcock suddenly and shockingly announced that from now on, all bets were off.  Horror was no longer safe.  Anything could happen. "Psycho" undoubtedly paved the way for the likes of "Night of the Living Dead","The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", and "Halloween", and so many others.  It's so engrained into our culture now that you don't even have to have seen the movie to know the story.  (Although I would have to say you have no business watching movies if you don't...)  You can even buy a shower curtain with "Mother" weilding a knife on it, it's so well-known.          
      Anthony Perkins made such an impact as Norman Bates, that he never was able to escape the role.  He was forever known as Norman.  Can you think of any other memorable role of Anthony Perkins?  He is simply too good in the role.  His Bates is truly spooky- and he cast the mold for Michael Myers, Hannibal Lecter, and such.  "Psycho" was the first true slasher, inventing a genre and changing the face of horror movies forever.  It's Hitchcock's scariest moments on celluloid I think, besides "The Birds".  And still holds up magnificently, especially next to some of the pale remakes bombarding us today.  It's still crisp and fresh.  I can't imagine anybody not having seen this classic example of tension and suspense. And if you haven't, what are you waiting for?  This is one of the greatest of many great Hitchcock movies, and the grandfather (or should I say mother?) of all slashers.  Words really can't do the movie justice, though.  Just watch the movie.  You'll see what I'm talking about.

Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?

  Two aging Hollywood sisters live together in a dark, spooky mansion.  One, a former child-star who's career never amounted to anything afterwards, takes care of her invalid sister who was a much bigger star in her day.  Now bitter rivals, the invalid sister, (Joan Crawford), is at the mercy of her angry sister, (Bette Davis), who's slowly unraveling into insanity...

     The Grand Dame of Cinema Schlock- "Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?" will never cease to amaze, fascinate, and entertain.  This movie not only gave Bette Davis and Joan Crawford a much-needed comeback, but also kicked off a wave of movies that would become known as 'horror hag'.  Just take an aging Hollywood star, put her in a cheaply made horror movie, and presto!  Audiences flocked to these kind of flicks, and today they are all bona-fide classics of high camp.

      Now, "Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?" is actually a great movie- Bette and Joan are certainly a formidable match onscreen.  The pairing of these two giant Hollywood icons alone would have cemented its legendary status.  But besides that, we are treated to a genuinely creepy and unsettling look at old Hollwood, ala "Sunset Boulevard".  Way more than just a cheap horror film, "WEHTBJ" is a riveting psychological study of 'stars' in Hollywood, and how desperate they will become to keep those stars shining.  It's cheaply made, but rather creative and very influential.

      Bette Davis and Joan Crawford simply could not be replaced in this movie- they are absolutely pitch perfect.  Bette scowls, brays, shrieks, and howls- she is truly a tour-de-force in acting here.  There is a reason why she's called one of our greatest actresses of all time.   As great as Bette is,  Joan equally holds her own here. We immediately sympathize with Blanche, and we're with her all the way.  Considering the myth of their supposed 'feud', it certainly makes watching this movie all the more fascinating. You can practically feel the underlying tension ooze off the screen, what with the legendary rumours of their hatred for one another.  Whether any of this is true or not, it certainly adds to the movie.

     This movie was a huge hit when released in 1962- and made such an impact that there is now a licensed action figure set of the two stars.  It's a horror classic, and one of the biggest and most memorable films of the 60s. The character of Baby Jane ranked #44 on the American Film Institute's list of the 50 Best Villains of American Cinema. "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" inspired a slew of knock-off imitations and drag queens around the world as well.  It also resurrected the careers of Miss Davis and Miss Crawford.  And we'll forever have the charms of "But ya are, Blanche, ya are in that chair!"

Straight-Jacket

     Kids, Joan Crawford with an ax is all you need to know for this one.  After the success of "Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?" in 1962, suddenly middle-aged actresses everywhere- (Crawford, Bette Davis, Barbara Stanwyck, Olivia DeHavilland, etc.) were starring left and right in cheaply made horror movies.  "Straight-Jacket" was Joan's follow-up to "Baby Jane" after leaving "Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte "(which is a story all on its own...).  The plot is simple.  Joan finds her husband in bed with another woman.  She brutally murders them in bed with an ax.  After being institutionalized for 20 years, she is released to live a normal life.  She goes to live with her daughter on a farm.  She seems alright at first, but has Joan fully recovered?  But she quickly starts to wig out as a series of brutal ax murders rock the farm. Is someone trying to drive her back into madness? Or is it Joan, still crazy as a loon?  I live for this kind of stuff.

      First of all, "Straight-Jacket" is an absolute hoot from start to finish.  There are so many things to love about this movie, I wouldn't even know where to begin.  Joan Crawford is the star of the picture, for one.  I'm sold already.  Joan Crawford brandishing an ax.  Yes please.  And the infamous scene with Joan meeting her daughter's fiance is simply out of of this world and must be seen to be believed.  She's decked out like an 80-year old hooker in a floral print dress, dangling bracelets and black wig with bangs, right?  Swilling bourbon like a lumberjack, she blatantly comes on to the poor guy in a scene that's creepy and disturbing... yet you can't take your eyes off it.  Besides Joan in all her glory, you have to love the blatant placing of Pepsi products. "Straight-Jacket" also boasts a truly original, fun depiction of the Columbia Pictures logo at the end- complete with severed head lying at her feet.  Miss Crawford goes about all this madness with the utmost sincerity, which is what makes it and her so watchable.  "Straight-Jacket" simply is must-see entertainment.  Whether you're a Joan Crawford fan (who isn't?),  a William Castle fan, or just a fan of campy, retro B- movies in general, then "Straight-Jacket" is the one for you.